Jokes Page
Comical Truths
Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
If the shoe fits......buy it in every colour.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away 3 weeks before you need it.
Janice Hoyle
One beautiful Sunday morning, a minister announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...a £1,000 sermon that lasts five minutes, a £500 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a £100 sermon that lasts a full hour. Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."
The old religious man was walking on the beach with his only grandson, when a giant wave crashes on shore, sweeping the boy out to sea. The man looks up to the heavens and says: "Oh Lord, this is my only grandson. How can you take him away from me like this? My son will not understand. My daughter-in-law will die from grief." Another wave comes by, and deposits the boy at the old man's feet. The grandfather looks to the heavens again and says, "He had a hat!"
An American couple have five children. Their names are Rudy, Larry, Johnny, Adam, and ... Ding Kong Wong. They called their fifth child Ding Kong Wong because the survey said every 5 babies born to this world, one of them is Chinese.
A little light humour Question: How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but the light bulb must really want to change. Question: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, the others stand and watch, saying: “that should be me up there.” Question: What kind of counseling might you offer the Pope? Answer: Aroma therapy. kindly submitted by Nick |
If you have any funny jokes, please click here and send them in, thank you.